Nannies – many of these key points can be true to you as well!

1. Communication. Communication is absolutely vital to a long term relationship – how it starts is how it will end. I highly recommend an agenda calendar/planner that is left in the kitchen where you and your nanny can leave notes, note important dates, log daily activities, etc. This ‘communication log’ is something that will keep everyone on the same page and nothing is a surprise. Lastly, it is always a great idea to do a quarterly ‘meeting’ and sit down over dinner and talk about anything coming up, how things are going for the nanny, how you can help with anything, etc. It will keep the lines of communication open and the nanny will appreciate it greatly that you asked.

2. Be Clear. During ‘training days’ is a great time to be clear about your expectations and how you like to have things done in your home. It usually takes approximately a month for a nanny to get ‘in-tune’ with the ins and outs of each family (every family is unique). This could be everything to how you like things organized or specific brands that you like at the grocery store. Overtime everything will be in complete sync and things just flow naturally. Also, if there is something that you like done a specific way, please don’t hesitate to let your nanny know and show appreciation at the same time. It can be hard when starting with a new family and some things not be done right the first time. The great thing is that everyone can communicate about it and start off on the right foot before anything becomes frustrating.

3. Stick to the Contract. Never-ever-ever have a nanny work for you without a contract. NEVER! The contract is a great tool to ensure that everyone is clear on expectations. Not every single tiny detail is in the contract that comes up during the day, but just be sure that you stick to the contract. Also,  do not add or subtract anything from the contract unless you’ve sat the nanny down to get her thoughts and opinions. If you want to add a duty to the job, sit down and talk about it. If you would like to take a certain duty out of the contract, sit down and talk about it. At that time you can write up a new one or add an addendum.

4. Maintain Boundaries. Typically this is a hard line because the nanny is working in such a personal environment, however, it can be done. Have a great time with your nanny, but be sure that you don’t overshare information that makes her work environment awkward (family issues, etc.). Nannies really want to feel like they are apart of the family and have value in ‘the team’.

5. Don’t Get in the Way. Getting in the way of the nanny’s routine day is something that can make or break a good day in the nanny’s work day. A general rule that will cure this is to be sure that the child always knows that the nanny is in charge if she is at work. The child is always directed to the nanny – “Ms. Katie is in charge right now, you need to ask her about whether or not you are allowed to do that.” When a child has more than one adult to find an answer from it becomes a really difficult situation. The nanny of course can direct back to the parents, but let her do that. She may even take you aside to ask your opinion and she will answer the child.

Also, if you are a work-at-home parent be sure that the nanny has complete separation from you. If your child has a hard time seeing you without having a meltdown during the day, and you need to come out of the office, send your nanny a text. At that time the nanny can take the child outside, move rooms, etc. Having a work-at-home parent can be difficult, but it can be made very easy if the family has a system. One key note that I have for work-at-home parents is to be sure that your office is away from the main area the child and nanny will be during the day. There is nothing more stressful than having to live the entire day in a quiet environment and not letting the nanny and child ‘live life’. Sometimes nannies want to be goofy and play, and then other times there is just a day of meltdowns. Of course, if you don’t mind the noise and can happily do work with it, let the nanny know so she doesn’t worry herself all day. Not every home can have a large separation, so just work with what is available. Just be sure they are stress-free when it comes to the environment created for work when you may work from home.

6. Respect and Appreciation. There is nothing more valuable to the relationship than these two words – respect and appreciation. Nannies are professionals and they love what they do. Even more than that, the respect and appreciation that they receive from their family is paramount to their jobs and keeps them loving their career. One thing in my nanny career that has never gone unnoticed (for nearly nine years) – I am told thank you every single day before the parents leave for work and then again when I leave in the evening. You would never think that is a big deal, but it absolutely is when it comes to my value, respect, and appreciation.

7. Don’t “Nickel and Dime”. Be sure that you are not a ‘register’ of minutes and pennies when it comes to caring about your nanny and her work life. If your nanny gets to leave work early because you allowed her (that’s a gift!), don’t say the next week, “We let you leave early, so we don’t owe you any money for being late today.” Be respectful and know that time is time, and respect is respect. In this particular scenario, the family absolutely owes the nanny money for staying at work late and letting her leave early the previous week is a ‘gift’. The only way this would be different is if the family asked the nanny if she would like to work only until 4pm instead of 5pm one day, and ask her to stay till 6pm another day – that’s considered ‘flex time’. However, freely letting the nanny leave early is not to be made up nor kept on a register to be used at a later time. The key is you have to plan ahead to ‘flex’ time. Also, letting your nanny leave early is a great way to show APPRECIATION! Those little nuggets of ‘thanks’ go a long way with a nanny.

8. Pamper Her. Throughout the year be sure to find ways to tell your nanny thank you even beyond the words – birthday presents, Christmas/Holiday presents, a ‘just-because present’, or a trip to the spa. Many times nannies put themselves last and giving them a little push to put a little time in for themselves is great! You could even say, “We are both home tomorrow, have a ‘paid day off’ and enjoy yourself!” Just be sure you know that she feels appreciated for her long days of work. The small gifts of appreciation in both words and presents mean more than you will ever know to your nanny. My favorite saying is, “Happy Nanny. Happy Family.”

9. Pay on Time. This goes back to the contract and how you scheduled payments to your nanny. Be sure to pay her accordingly and don’t ever get too busy to do so. That is one item that could sour a relationship quickly. Just be respectful and note on paydays to take a little extra time to be sure that it doesn’t get missed.

10. Have fun! The majority of nannies love having a great time with the parents along with the kids. Just have a great time and be each other’s ‘team mates’!