Modern Modesty. What’s THAT?

The summer has arrived and the breeze blows through your hair as you hear the birds chirping through your cracked windows. As you think about what activities the day holds, you are frantically trying to figure out what to wear to work. It’s that picture perfect moment of throwing things out of the drawer as you seem to find nothing that works! You might be going out to lunch with your boss, taking the kids to a museum, or scheduling a playdate with school friends. The possibilities truly are endless in the life of a nanny. Yes, you guessed it; I’m going to talk about what is appropriate to wear on the job.

Mrs. Mary McEntire in the 1940's and 1950's.

The other day I was walking around town and noticed some rather amazing clothing (I live in Asheville, there is something to be said about that). No, I’m not talking about awesome clothing, I’m talking about questionable clothing. I’m just curious, where did the modest and classy lady go? Is she still in the 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s dressed in her dashing dress and cute shoes? You will see in these images (click to enlarge) my grandmother and her friends having a great time in the 1940’s. Now imagine them walking down the street today – they would surely get the attention of others. Being old fashion is not what I am talking about; I’m talking about being classy and carrying yourself with confidence like a lady. We will call it being the ‘modern modest lady.’ If you were to my see my Grandma Mary and her friends on the street, they would be wearing awesome vintage clothes, and would likely get labeled as being classy and modest. In the bottom left picture they are showing their knees. (insert gasp) Yes, showing your knees back then was not appropriate and very scandalous for some. Just the thought of showing your knees being an immodest characteristic makes me laugh. In today’s world we see a lot more than knees and secretly wish that is all we saw at times.

Take a moment to check yourself out in the mirror. What do you see? If you were to see yourself out, what would you think? Does your countenance radiate fun and your appearance spell professional and modest? Remember, not only are you a representation of your employers, but most importantly a role model to the children around you. Oh, and don’t forget about your outward appearance being a representation of your inner self! Take a moment and trade places with your employers; what would you want your nanny (or employee)  to look like in regards to her dress? It is highly likely you would want them to be well dressed, but appropriate for the job. Allow me to be real for a minute. Never wear clothing that would give reason for the wife to question your dress to catch the attention of her husband. Be respectful and never be a stumbling block to a man that you work for. While many would never do that intentionally, you could give the wife the idea by continuously dressing inappropriately. If you think this doesn’t happen, you are wrong.

I was able to briefly talk about dress code with a large group of nannies at National Nanny Training Day with a lot of humor. Yes, I demonstrated, and I think we had fun with it.  Lets take a moment to explore some guidelines for dressing appropriately on the job:

1. Girl, your shirt is…

I have a recommendation of the ‘four finger rule.’ Take your four fingers and place them right at the top of your sternum/clavicle. Your shirt line should not be below the bottom of your four fingers. Also, look down right now; can you see down your shirt? Now bend over and look at your shirt; can you see down it? If you are able to see down your shirt, it is inappropriate for the job. As a nanny (or other staff member) you are always bending over, carrying children, and performing other tasks that would allow others to see down your shirt. No one wants to see your cleavage or down your shirt, I promise. Wearing shirts that do not have a lot of ‘flow’ and fit modestly is key. If you would like to wear a shirt that is ‘flowy’ or doesn’t fit quite right, be sure to wear a camisole. To be safe just wear a camisole under everything; they fit tightly to the skin and keep in place. When you are wearing a camisole you will not have to worry about things being seen that shouldn’t.

2. Who wears short shorts? Not you!

Shorts. Do you remember the fingertip rule in high school? Guess what, that is NOT true in the private service industry! Your shorts should be long bermuda shorts or four inches (or less) above the knees. You should never have to question yourself in the morning of whether or not they are appropriate. If you are asking yourself that question – they are NOT appropriate.

Have a seat. When you sit down (or standing) your underwear should not be visible. If someone can see your underwear, “Houston, we have a problem!” It is likely  you have that problem because your shorts/pants are too tight, too small, or even too big. If that is not the case, be sure to wear a camisole under your shirt and tuck it into your shorts/pants so your underwear stays YOUR underwear.

Leaving nothing to the imagination. So now we move on to things being tight. When you put your shorts/pants on you should be able to squat and not have any issues. Also, your pocket outlines and underwear lines should not be visible either.  No one should know if you are wearing a thong or granny panties; personal things are personal for a reason. Please do not ‘broadcast’ your underwear, whether it is a pink bra showing through your light colored shirt or stripped panties in light colored pants/shorts. Now we go back to the pocket thing – I know you are wondering what that means. If you have noticed those who wear things too tight, every single pocket is outlined. Just a note – pocket outlines are an indication of things being too tight.

                               Conclusion: do not wear clothing that will test the durability of the fabric.

3. Arms of love.

Everyday you are likely carrying children that typically pull on your shirt, which is why we need high necklines and wide straps. Your shirts should have sleeves! If they do not have sleeves they should be very wide straps – almost as if you just cut the sleeve part off. When is the last time you walked into a professional building and a lady had a spaghetti strap or thin strapped tank top on? Never. Have standard for yourself just like you were going to a corporate job. Some households are more formal than others but it doesn’t water down the need for being appropriate. In general, tank tops are not appropriate unless you are by the pool and wearing it over your swim wear.

4. Aw, that’s a cute dress.

I will say that wearing dresses to work as a nanny is not really the most appropriate thing to do when you are on the go with children. In the event that you would like to wear one be sure that it is knee length – like touches your kneecaps. Same rule applied for skirts. Please take a seat. Your knees should be able to be covered. Imagine sitting on the ground with children for an activity, you should be able to tuck the hem of your dress/skirt over your knees so no one can see up your dress/skirt. Also, I highly recommend wearing the ‘slip shorts’ under your dress or skirts. Slip shorts (or spanks) are kind of like biker shorts and underwear. They are ah-mazing! Now bend over. Your dress or skirt should be long enough that when you bend over there is no fear in ‘mooning’ anyone. Also, another test is reaching up as high as you can and not have the same ‘mooning’ issue. This should not happen if you follow the knee length rule, right?

5. Oh, the blessed pool.

Many are spending a lot of time by the pool for the summer and the question always gets asked, “what is appropriate for a swim suit?” General rule of thumb: no bikinis or cleavage. Your swim wear should be modest in fashion and a representation of a professional. Some nannies like to wear a cover up over their swim suit or shorts and t-shirt over their swim suit. As long as you are modest and belly buttons and cleavage are kept hidden, you should be fine. Think vintage; the more skin covered the better.

Briefly think about the girl who walks into an interview with a very professional look and then a girl with slightly immodest and unprofessional look. Not only will the professional look get noticed more than the latter, but it will also gain the family’s trust just based on how she represented yourself. If you walk into an interview slapped together, it is likely they will think that is what you will do in everyday life on the job. Which would you like to have, professional or unprofessional? Each nanny carries themselves differently just because of how they dressed themselves. When I leave out the door with my suit on compared to the days I wear yoga pants, I carry  myself in a completely different manner in regards to confidence. I would never be able to conduct a meeting with a client with yoga pants on quite like I would with a suit or nice dress on. Would you agree with that for yourself? Test yourself this week (not on the job) and see just how different you interact with people based on your dress. I think you will be able to notice the difference as well as others.

So the heat is here, but your short-low-cut-minis do not belong on the job. Just be professional and don’t push the line. There are so many recommendations with what is okay to wear for nannies and sometimes hard to decide which to follow. I will say that these guidelines will keep you in ‘check.’ If you ever have to rethink your outfit for the day, it is likely not appropriate. It doesn’t matter what your employers say is okay, you need to have a professional standard. Remember your appearance has a lot to do with how people speak to you. If you carry yourself without confidence and professionalism, then it is likely you will be treated just like that. It is amazing how the small things all correlate to the big things.

Modern modesty is magnificent! Everything relates back to YOU, so put the best YOU have on, and work that ‘nanny runway’ without testing the durability of the fabric.

 


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